?

Log in

 
 
25 March 2012 @ 06:29 pm
What if.. Margin of Error - 2woo/dongsoo - oneshot for ISS11  
Title: What if (margin of error)
Author: chunonew_rx
Pairing/Focus: Dongwoo/Woohyun, Myungsoo/Dongwoo, Woohyun/OC
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1,651
Summary: ... But I always wonder what would have happened if I had not acted like a coward.

Written for dashidorawa's secretsanta11, specially for letherknow. also thanks to eunki that revised this for me.



What if (margin of error)

We should stop seeing each other for the mean time. I think, it will be the best for the both of us.

That was what I said and silence was the answer that I got. I saw tears in his eyes but I didn’t hear him ask or say a word. I knew he wanted me to answer the unasked questions, but what am I going to say? That my parents didn’t approve our relationship? It wasn’t a great idea. It was better leaving it like that, like something temporary, something that didn’t matter that much even though that didn’t stop me from feeling the sorrow. But at that moment I thought it was for the best, for the best of both of us. Because he didn’t deserve a coward and I didn’t deserve him.

That was the last time we spoke of personals matters. Our lives as Infinite members didn’t change that much after that, after all we were still as busy as ever and there was merely any time for relationships. We could still talk about work matters if needed but that was only it. I didn’t go to him for skinship and neither had he come to me for it. We unconsciously changed especially our personalities and attitudes. He laughed and was himself when it was needed but not all the time like he used to be and me, I was just being pathetic all the time, quoting Sunggyu’s words. We were pretending as if nothing was wrong when the situation demanded it but deep inside we knew that everything was wrong.

You might ask me “Why did you do it?” But don’t worry; sometimes I wonder the same thing too. Sometimes I just feel like I acted like the most stupid person in this world for stepping away from the most precious guy that gave me all the happiness in life. But sometimes I can’t help but to think that I made the right decision.

I have heard lots of opinions and I was brought to the conclusion that someday I would find a person that will be more suitable to me; someone that everyone will approve of.

You see, when I told my mom about my relationship with him, she almost passed out. And it wasn’t only her. It included most of the people I know that heard my story. No one wanted me to be with him. They said that I deserve someone better, that we were too young, and that it wasn’t the right choice. They told me that there could be a better option, maybe a sweet girl that knows how to cook and do chores. It should be someone different from that boy who cannot even bear a child and give my parents a grandson.

Sometimes I seriously cannot understand why in the world I listened to them and finished accepting everything they have said. But at the end, I did mention before, how coward I was. Even Sunggyu always said that I always get carried away by what others say and never think of myself. Maybe that was my problem. But right there I couldn’t go back saying sorry. I couldn’t go back to Dongwoo and ask for forgiveness right now.

I made him suffer. He was suffering because of me and the best thing that I could do then was to step aside. So I decided to move on and let go of him. I made myself to promise that I was going to find the right girl to fall in love with. I promised myself that I was going to forget him no matter what.

I hoped so. But you know it was so hard. So hard to wake up every day and find him there with the other members trying to act as if you don’t exist but failing and even in that, he can’t lie. It was so hard to be so near and at the same time to be far away. It was so hard to ignore your own feelings and choosing your parents recommendations instead.

I was going to be strong. I had to.

I started flirting even more with fan girls. The name of namgrease given by the fans for me was now underrated. I started going skinship even more with the other members, except to him of course. I did it mostly with my best buddy Sunggyu. We did it that much that woogyu was started to be compared with those crazy pairings of other groups.

At some point of time I could say everything seemed to be forgotten. It was not actually, but it looked like it. It was like everything was normal. We get to do our own respective hobbies. Our daily routines as individual seemed back to normal. Despite of that, we were still distant towards each other. We still never talk, except during interviews, and he doesn’t even look at me. Now, I saw him getting close, or too close, I could say, with Myungsoo. I know they have been close ever since but I don’t know. It didn’t give me a good feeling. And to be sincere, it was like three months after our painful break up that everything I saw makes me jealous. It was becoming very difficult for me to deal with. It ripped my heart every time. I don’t know but, wasn’t this what I wanted, to step away from him?

Dongwoo never looked at me anymore. It got to a point where it was Myungsoo for this, Myungsoo for that, Myungsoo for everything and I swear I was getting annoyed. Still, I wasn’t brave enough to confront Dongwoo about this. But confront him for what reason? I finished our relationship, didn’t I? It is not like we are still together. This just make my head want to explode. Hell, I made him suffer and I knew I was getting angry that he was forgetting about my existence. I was going crazy.

But what was I expecting? Him crying behind me? telling me not to go? Not to listen to what others were saying? The mere idea was just stupid. I knew it.

This is just so stupid but I couldn’t just stay calm forever. No, no, no. I needed to do something about it, so I decided to confront at least one of the people causing my angriness, Myungsoo.

“What do you think you are doing?” I asked with my eyes burning.

“Woohyun what’s wrong with you? Why? What did I do?” He asked back.

“You know what I am talking about! What the fuck are you doing seriously?!” I just couldn’t control the intensity of my emotions. My voice just rose without me intending it.

“I don’t know what you are talking about!”

“Sure you know! What are you doing with Dongwoo?!”

“Why you care? It’s none of your business. You dumped him and I don’t attempt to do the same. I will do right with him, you better stay aside. You lost your chance, so now stop this childish act!”

Explode, I was about to explode when we heard the door being opened and Dongwoo getting in.

“Hey! What is with those screams?! Dongwoo suddenly entered the room with all the sadness and hurt in his face. He stared at me with distant eyes that I couldn’t bear.

“I don’t know what got into him.” Myungsoo answered.

For me it seemed that Dongwoo caught something from my feelings because he just said “back off” and took Myungsoo’s hand and walked out the room.

I was left standing there speechless. Dongwoo was really, really moving on. I suddenly felt that the feelings that we once shared didn’t mark deeply in his heart. I didn’t notice that there were rivulets of tears flowing from my eyes down to my cheeks.

I was being stupid. I knew it all along.

But I wasn’t not going to surrender just like that. Somehow I started trying to get Dongwoo back. I started looking for the skinship with him. I always smiled and gave him all the pleasant expression that I could ever do but it wasn’t working. Jang Dongwoo didn’t have eyes for me anymore. My competition was working hard on that. Myungsoo looked like he took this as a challenge.

I started trying to conquest him again. I even got him flowers…. For the first time.

I knew that I was making Dongwoo feel uncomfortable. Now that he had found someone who have appreciated him after one year that I dumped him, it was just uncomfortable fighting that lost battle.

I was helpless. I couldn’t think straight for much. Sunggyu tried to cheer me up but it was all a fail.

My plan failed completely and it was then too late. Maybe Myungsoo was really better for him all the way. At least he was not a coward like myself.
_

“Why are you telling me all this now? After all these years?”

I was speechless. I don’t know how to answer that question. I could have told you from the start but I don’t want more people to be hurt by me. I would rather hurt myself than hurt you. “I don’t know… I was just being nostalgic... I guess.”

“Nam Woohyun be serious! Why are you telling me all this just now, after so many years of that group infinite? After being my husband for almost 7 years? Why now? What does it matter now?! What are you trying to tell me?!”

“It just …that I saw him today with his family, his husband Kim Myungsoo and their two adoptive kids. It all came back to me. I just got carried away with the old feelings. I’m sorry I made you stressed. It wasn’t my intention. I love you.”

I found the girl my parents approved and I really loved her but I always wonder what would have happened if I had not acted like a coward.





 
 
mood: frustratedfrustrated
 
 
 
SchöneTier ♔re_lla on March 26th, 2012 08:06 am (UTC)
... i don't really know what to say ......
it depends on lots of things .= =
if I were Woohyun, maybe it would end up like him 'cause my parents wouldn't accept my relationships, and i can't disobey them for sure orz
but if he tell the truth and tell Dongwoo the reason why they were broke up, Dongwoo might be understand ...
well, i dunno = 3='' sigh ..
but in the end, they are all happy ... right ? .....


thanks ! O__O I really love 2Woo & MyungDong ! (but these otps are so rare to find a fiction !)
please write more ok ~ ? > <////
Lieselantares_15 on September 8th, 2013 12:07 am (UTC)
I love 2Woo so much ♥♥
Thank you for writing this story, I really liked it!!
I hope to read more about this couple (^^)